You know, it's funny. Living own my own for the past two months has taught me so much about myself and sitting in my apartment, alone, and ready to absolutely pass out at 10:30 at night has persuaded me to share them.
1) As much as I love my independence and not having to rely on others for personal satisfaction, it is becoming clear to me that I am not having nearly enough personal interaction with people outside of my job (students or coworkers).
2) On the flip side, my job is becoming more and more stressful the closer we get to the end of the first marking period, and my drive to be the best teacher I can be seems to be sapping all my energy--to the point where I'm simply too tired to drive anywhere to do anything.
3) I'm lonely. Everyone is putting their lives together this year, and a lot of times, people just don't have the time to listen, myself included. This profession is tough--especially when there are so few people out there that do it and would understand what I'm going through. I can see why people quit after the first few years. The amount of red tape and paperwork is enough to make most people head for the hills. I have to remember why I'm doing this--to change lives, to make an impact. I need to remember to keep the bureaucracy of it all in check so I don't wind up as another statistic (1 in 4 of all first year teachers will leave the profession within five years).
4) I have matured a lot more than expected since graduation. Going back to my old house off campus today showed me how distasteful the college lifestyle has become. It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there ever again.
5) If there's anything that moving out and on my own three short months after graduation has taught me, it's that I can do this. I can support myself when few seemed to think that I could so quickly. I beat the odds of the economic crisis and was one of the three lucky ones in our undergrad cohort of nine who found a job. So, if nothing else, I can beat this funk...even if I'm doing it on my own.
