Where have all the good guys gone?

I apologize in advance for the tone of this post.

...let me let you in on a little secret. I hate dating. I hate the search. I hate the chase.

I hate that I have resorted to a dating site off and on over the past two years to meet people who weren't just after me for sex. I hate that I know I can use my physical appearance to get guys to notice me...and I hate that I actually think they'll stick around to get to know me.

I also hate that I can be so incredibly wrong about people, and actually trust the bullshit that spews from their mouths. I was spending time with a guy that I thought was ready to settle down, be supportive, and all that. Turns out, he was a veiled alcoholic prick who now seems bent on making me feel guilty for ending our little five-date soiree. He told me he had gotten a DUI a few months ago...but it was a one-time thing. He didn't have a drinking problem. Trust me, between my father and where I was junior year, I know what drinking problems look like. He has one. And I am neither emotionally equipped nor willing to stick around while this dude "figures it out."

I am retreating from the dating world for a while I think. No pursuits. No profile updates. No messages. I need to go back to just letting life happen.

And fully let myself heal...again from the relationship that ended two months ago. You know the pattern. I allow myself to fall in love, the guy backs out. The usual, really.

Maybe then I will find somebody who is ready to love me.