Project New Roomies: Fall '07

So far, so good! With a few minor oddities on the part with the girl who actually lives with me, this should be a great couple of months.

Musings Over Milkshakes

How do you walk away from an ailing friendship when you know that it would hurt the other person? Better yet, how do you do it when they still think that everything is okay? I don't want to blindside anyone, but I feel like giving some sort of warning would force me to realize that I'm not as accepting as I would like to be. Given the chance, I'd much rather go back to the world as it was before my opinion changed. "But then you wouldn't be able to learn and grow from it," says my rational, blossoming, adult mind. Fuck. That's a good point.

Sunday is move-in day. Thank you (insert deity or spiritual being of your choice). I'm so thankful, I almost don't care who I'm throwing my arms up in praise to. Having my freedom back will finally quench the craving for it that I've had over the past three months. Now all I have left to deal with is the mountain of clothing and assorted crap that needs to get packed up...and the apprehension about meeting my new roommates. I know, I know. I go through this same old crap every year: "Will they like me? Will we get along?" I should just be able to say screw it and not worry about anything, and if they happen to like me and we happen to become friends, then yay. Unfortunately, past roommate experiences have taught me that the sit-back-and-wait approach tends to turn people off. Not to mention the fact that I am a control freak and have to mentally design every possible scenario for how we could interact before I feel confident enough to ACTUALLY engage myself with other people. C managed to become a close friend of mine despite that, but the others? Not so much. So now I have to take a more active role in establishing relationships with the people that I'm going to be living with. This will be new for me, and I'm sure it will lead to a lot of the confused, struggling young adult posts that I have come to grow so fond of. Stay tuned for that. (Ew, that was lame. Pretend you didn't just read that and laugh at me...)

Let's talk milkshakes for a second here. There is something about dairy products that bring out my inner philosopher and psychologist. No, that's weird. It was the company I had, definitely the company. I will say this: "Milkshake talks" should happen more often. I get to purge my system (haha! POOP JOKE!) of all the crap that builds up and bounce ideas off of someone who genuinely listens to what I have to say. I like that. People like that are rare.

"I think that you could be a total bitch if you wanted to."

M has no idea just how on-point she was. But I think the keyword that she used was wanted. Truthfully, I have no urge to be angry anymore. The way my life is right now is just fine with me... I can't keep focusing on the things and the people that have pissed me off or done me wrong. My job has taught me that you can get a lot further with people by maintaining composure. The rudeness that I have to deal with on a day-to-day basis when I'm at the restaurant doesn't even bother me anymore. In fact, I find it almost laughable. There are always going to be demented people out there who enjoy picking fights and stirring the pot just for kicks. It's not worth my time anymore to join in on that game. Be childish if you wish, but don't expect me to play along with you. I'll be in the corner with the real grown-ups if you need me.

In other news...
I have three shifts left at the restaurant, and I'm really glad to be leaving. "Hi! Welcome to Friday's! How many are in your party this evening?" I'm afraid I recite it in my sleep now. Don't ever work in a restaurant. It gets monotonous. Even when you're friendly and outgoing, you find yourself dealing with the same types of guests every day, though the faces change. The only thing I'll really miss is the few good friends I made there, who suffered through countless drab shifts right along with me. I told my managers I'd be around to pick up shifts here and there...but in reality I'll be spending my time thinking of reasons why I can't go in. And it will be great.
Thing with guard are getting amped up now that band camp has come upon us. The squad is really eager and (for the most part) hard-working...so I'm stoked about being able to work with them again. I'm really starting to feel comfortable teaching now that I have a few years under my belt.

School is fast approaching, and I have nineteen days until I get to move back into my apartment. I already know one of my roommates (who is really nice, but could possibly be absolutely insane...more on that some other time), and the other two are from out-of-state. I'm nervous and excited all at once. I respond to meeting new people in one of two ways: either I'm really friendly and open, or I get shy and close off. The latter me arrived in full form last semester, and I really lost time in getting to know the people that I lived with. Thank goodness that C and I were able to connect once I got over myself...but I want to avoid that whole awkward stage completely this time around. I'll probably have to consciously make the effort at first, but hopefully over time I can be friends with all of them.