Thanks(for what)giving?
So it's Saturday, and I have done NOTHING productive school-wise, nor have I done laundry or gone grocery shopping. The list of things that need to happen today so I can keep my sanity is ridiculously long...and on top of that I'm sick. Again. I guess the only good thing about staying in to do homework is that I am forced to rest, even though there are a lot of other things I'd rather be doing.
Thanksgiving was very strange for me this year. My dad, mom, brother, and I (plus the dog) wound up at our cabin in West Virginia. I hadn't been up in a couple years, which surprised me, because I always like exploring the woods up there so much as a kid. It took me a while to realize that I hate it there now because there is no escape. Yes, I can go take a walk when I need to get away, but I have to eventually come back to the cramped three-room cabin. I missed going to my aunt's house, seeing my cousins, seeing my grandma...there's a lot more going on, and a lot more places to be if I need space.
I guess my biggest problem right now is that no matter how hard I try to spend time with my family, I always feel like an outsider. With my brother living at home now, I feel like there are a lot of things I've missed out on, a lot of inside jokes that don't get explained, a lot of glances back and forth that I don't understand.
I wish I could say that my college home has become a place where I belong, but I find myself so distanced from my roommates that I am afraid of being in the same room with them. They are all (with the exception of one, who is here less than I am) the type of petty dramatists that I hate. Mature conversations are hard to come by here, and I feel really unfulfilled most of the time. They can all be such great people, so when the shit hits the fan, I just feel really let down. I am hoping the break has given us a chance to miss each other...so things could be better tomorrow when we are all back.
I went out with some old high school friends last night. Bittersweet as always. Great to see everyone, but also hard to see how much we've changed and established our own lives. I am glad that we can still spend time together without it being weird, though.
I guess that's all I have for now. I've been writing a lot of poetry as of late, so if I get the chance later today, I'll post some.
Thanksgiving was very strange for me this year. My dad, mom, brother, and I (plus the dog) wound up at our cabin in West Virginia. I hadn't been up in a couple years, which surprised me, because I always like exploring the woods up there so much as a kid. It took me a while to realize that I hate it there now because there is no escape. Yes, I can go take a walk when I need to get away, but I have to eventually come back to the cramped three-room cabin. I missed going to my aunt's house, seeing my cousins, seeing my grandma...there's a lot more going on, and a lot more places to be if I need space.
I guess my biggest problem right now is that no matter how hard I try to spend time with my family, I always feel like an outsider. With my brother living at home now, I feel like there are a lot of things I've missed out on, a lot of inside jokes that don't get explained, a lot of glances back and forth that I don't understand.
I wish I could say that my college home has become a place where I belong, but I find myself so distanced from my roommates that I am afraid of being in the same room with them. They are all (with the exception of one, who is here less than I am) the type of petty dramatists that I hate. Mature conversations are hard to come by here, and I feel really unfulfilled most of the time. They can all be such great people, so when the shit hits the fan, I just feel really let down. I am hoping the break has given us a chance to miss each other...so things could be better tomorrow when we are all back.
I went out with some old high school friends last night. Bittersweet as always. Great to see everyone, but also hard to see how much we've changed and established our own lives. I am glad that we can still spend time together without it being weird, though.
I guess that's all I have for now. I've been writing a lot of poetry as of late, so if I get the chance later today, I'll post some.
posted by haze at 7:59 AM
1 Comments:
we're all so out of place aren't we? how did this happen?
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