The sunlight crashes down over me as I step out from the threshold of that shadowy overhang. I am overwhelmed feeling my mind collide with this shining ball of external happiness. I extend my arm, stretching every nerve, down to my finger, reaching, so that every inch of me absorbs the light. My cells explode with that forgotten energy, like a small child who has stepped on his first balloon and made it pop, scaring everybody around him, laughing because he pulled the simplest of pranks and got away with it. I can't help but giggle and grin like I used to. Before him. Before that. Before that phone call that changed everything.

Or maybe it didn't? Maybe I'm forgetting something. There is a higher order to this world and we can't fully understand why things happen, especially not when we are in the midst of the ensuing chaos. If I hadn't gone through all this shit, I never would have gotten as close to L, spent as much time with my roommates, or met other guys who have proved to me that there is still a lot of good out there. We are taken through periods of pain so that we value the great things that we do have, so that we'll be more appreciative of what's left at the end.

I smile because I know that at moments like these, well, I know there is enough magic in this world for me to get my share. And I know that I will be inspired. Inspired to write this. And press on. And move away from the dark filth of my past. Setbacks? Yes, of course. Will I let them knock me off my ultimate course, keep me from doing what I know will be best for me? The answer is simple. Hell. No.