Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Leveling Out, and Some Cheese

We talked about the stars. How strange it was that we could see so many in my little suburban town. I was scared, not of him or of what was happening. That part felt natural. The fact that there was nothing wrong...that scared me.

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It is nice to see that the prayers I've been offering up for my friends are being fulfilled. I'm not sure I've gone into my theological beliefs on here before, but I've found that when I feel utterly helpless in my ability to help the people I care about, I pray for them at night before I go to sleep. I'm no hardcore Bible-thumper, but the only way I can feel at peace with myself and my relationships is to do this from time to time. Sometimes the only way I can feel in control is to give up control.

I wish I could say that my strength and will to fight comes from inside me, that I can just magically pull myself up by the metaphorical bootstraps and keep walking.

But that's bullshit.

It's you. And you don't even fully realize it, how much you've done and continue to do for me on a daily basis. I fight because I know you need me as much as I need you.

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