Just a quick veer off my creative path...

I have the chance to live my dream next year. An opportunity has presented itself to me that I really want to take. I have wanted this ever since I graduated from high school, maybe longer than that. Two summers now I've spent out in the heat, spinning and sweating, saying goodbye to any semblence of a social life come August, and it's all been so worth it. One winter, and another to come, I've spent expanding my ability and sharing what I know with those who have come after me. I've been flexing a new creative muscle and pushing myself to new challenges. Saying goodbye (more or less) whenever school starts is always so difficult-there are times when I feel like I can only be myself out there on the field. It's home, it's comfort. I miss the girls, the fun, the friends, the students, the other instructors, everything.

But I'm scared to say "yes, count me in, I'll do it." I never do anything half-heartedly. That's why I haven't been back as much this year as I would have liked...because I know I can't give it my all right now between school and work and my family's health. It isn't fair. And I'm terrified that if I commit, I won't be able to give it the attention that it deserves, no matter how much I might want it. I'm stretched so thinly as it is, can I add such a time-consuming dimension?

I'm even afraid to say what "it" is...maybe I'll jinx it or something.

Food for thought.